Travel After Divorce

SIMPLE AND CHEAP!!!

It was a random day in the middle of the week when I decided to look at my favorite webpage “google flights”. If you do the “explore” option and put in random dates you will be met with a map of locations and it is sorted out by price. That day in October, the flashing price for 2 people to go to Orlando Florida was too low to pass up. We were gong to this destination for the price of what I spent on bus tickets to New Jersey the month before.

The first logistical decision was where we were going to stay once we arrived. I included my stepson in the vacation plan so I knew it had to be nice enough to entertain a teen. We usually stay at the “days inn” which is motel(ish) enough but still nice. This time we decided on an off brand Motel which advertised a gym for the kid. Now we were going to take a chance on what ended up to be a perfect decision.

THE FLIGHT OVER

As usual we go on our train to the Airport with a few drinks in hand. Well actually we stopped at a local convenience store, but before we knew it, it was off to the airport. Cocktails and Airline travel might be my favorite combination besides my wife and nudity!! 🙂 (Hi Tori)

Once at the Airport I was very pleased to see that all 3 of our luggage bags were included in the free check in process. In addition to that we also had TSA Pre-Check on all tickets, and even though the lines were small, it was a brief wait to get through to the terminal. I sacrificed a knife that was given to me by my job, but it was well worth it!

Once through we were after snacks and a pre-boarding cocktail which is very tough to come by in the budget airline terminal we were in. After waiting a few minutes for someone who was allowed to ring up cheap beer we decided to abandon the venture and head to our gate which was boarding shortly thereafter.

The budget airline was exactly what one would expect, and by that I mean the seats don’t recline, the leg room is minimal, and the experience kind of sucked. That was the last time we fly on the cheap (welp actually we leave in 15 days for Vegas on that same airline, but thats it I promise!). I had one drink on the plane for a discount thanks to my job, and before you knew it we were in Florida!

SEE “SEA WORLD!”

It was early in the morning and we were very early for a check in at any hotel on earth. It was a good thing we had a plan for our early arrival. After leaving our bags checked in to a closet, it was a $20ish Uber ride away to get to Sea World! Having my employment, the tickets for all three of us cost ZERO dollars!! Imagine that?, Walking into a major theme park for no money!

Just like the last time we were at this park, I knew I had to break the Ice quickly. As I have gotten older, I absolutely hate heights and adrenaline. Maybe that has something to do with 3 combat tours in the Army, but I am risk free as much as possible. To get into the adventure mode we were on the line to a roller coaster where you lay flat forward and to my surprise there was absolutely no line.

It was clear that we chose the best day of the year to visit this theme park as we noticed that every ride we went on had no lines pretty much the entirety of the day! We went from me being scared of going on roller coasters because I am an old fuck, to getting right back on the line after we finished a ride! I was even tricked onto one of the scarier ones by my wife and our son which I realized halfway up on the ride.

The day could not have been better as we ate an expensive meal in what is the equivalent of being inside of a shark tank underwater. I would never care about the cost of a meal in a place like that because of the amazing environment. A hammerhead shard continued to swim by us as we bit into Wagu Beef burgers and fries! I would fly into that park just to eat at that place (which I honestly might do this year).

HOTEL SURPRISE!

I can honestly say that one of the best aspects of this trip was the hotel. It was actually a step down and not up from the Days Inn, but was clean, organized, and had the best hot showers on earth. On top of that we had free breakfast in the AM which consisted of pancakes , pancake type egg omelettes, and all the cereal and fixings one would expect. It was just enough for myself and my wife (soon to be wife, stay tuned), to enjoy a few bites every morning together.

I would recommend this place to anyone trying to save a few bucks while visiting Orlando and I will include the information to anyone who reaches out to me on this site! Day one and morning 2 was done and it was now time for the most magical experience on earth. Enter Disney!!!!

EPCOT-HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS!

Just as planned the already amazing vacation had to have Epcot as much as possible. It was the middle of the Food and Wine festival season and there was a ton of expected vendors in addition to the other places around the world showcase. When buying the 4 day park hopper passes that morning, I was beyond excited to learn that the price of the tickets were LESS than half-price! Let the party begin!

We walked into the park and soon realized that this was going to be different than Sea World the day prior. Unlike the sparsely attended Sea World, Epcot Center was crammed packed with tourists everywhere. We still stuck to our gameplay and within 10 minutes we were dining on Filet Mignon and Watermelon flavored beer! The festival was in full swing and we found ourselves amongst the crowd headed between fake countries with drinks in hand!

As we always do, once we made out way near “France” on the world tour we decided to exit. It was about 5 seconds after exiting the park that we were on line for the “Skyliner” cable cars to take us to Hollywood Studios. We had a nice conversation with a gentlemen who was seated with us, and just like that we were entering another amusement park. The best change that was made was that with a park hopper pass, we no longer had to wait until the afternoon to go to another location!

Hollywood Studios ended up being one of the funnest places we visited on the trip. Knowing that Disney plans on re-branding the Rocking Roller Coaster from Aerosmith to the Muppets kept us going on the ride over and over again. I still think that for an indoor coaster, that ride ranks among the best. Multiple rides later and then we made our way to the tower of terror which to my surprise isn’t all that terrifying.

After the entirety of the day breezing by, it was already time for us to head back to the hotel after an unfortunate breakdown of the Toy Story roller coaster. The following day would promise to be as exciting as ever being that we were hopping over to the Animal Kingdom (one of our favorites). Blocking key letters from the sign made our entrance to “Anal Kingdom” worth the photo op!

ANIMAL KINGDOM

One of the most amazing attraction that any park has to offer has to be the Avatar ride at Animal Kingdom. Tricking your brain into thinking that you are flying on a creature is one of Disneys best stunts to ever be pulled off. We all knew after our first ride on Avatar that we would have to go back on the line at some point in the day which we did. Besides walking around in the crowd, the other amazing ride we enjoy is the Himalayan Bigfoot roller coaster. It was originally down for most of the day, and we were very excited after lunch to see it finally open. Lunch by the way was in one of our favorite restaurants “Rain Forrest Cafe”. ItItss still delightfully cute the few times an hour that the storm hits and the animatronic elephants go ape shit.

I still couldn’t believe how many rides we all went on at this point in our trip and we weren’t halfway through! Apparently my love for rides hasn’t diminished in my old age! The day was perfect as we made our way back to the Avatar ride for what we thought was the end of the day, but the park stayed open later than we expected. Once again, getting to and from all of these parks have been a breeze with Uber. It is 100% worth the savings to get an off property hotel and commute to and from the parks (except Magic Kingdom which I will discuss).

The next day we found ourselves once again in the Epcot/Hollywood Studios rotation which was beyond fun once again. Now that we knew the food and drinks we liked, it was great to make a quick trip around the world. Thank god the watermelon beer is made in New York, because that is something that I will be purchasing in the near future!

After another fun filled day going on all the rides and attractions it was the final day which meant the build up to the main event was finally completed. The final day would be the Magic Kingdom and we were prepared as ever to get to the castle! This time knowing how “Dry” that park is, we had a thermos filled to the brim with a bottle of Titos Vodka. Clutch to have this option at this park.

AS MAGIC KINGDOM AS A PLACE CAN BE!

Heading into the Magic Kingdom is always fun with the build up leading up to your arrival. This is the only park where you only have the option of taking the monorail or a boat to get to the park location. Pulling up in the monorail is always fun once you set your eyes on the castle for the first time. We made it quickly through the check in, and set ourselves loose in the park. Our first step would be a classic, and Space Mountain had us in line for about an hour but is always worth it!

Leaving space mountain always gives the feeling of nostalgia from past visits to Disney. Upon exiting the gift shop at the end of the coaster, we looked to our right to see the new “Tron” coaster fly by. I have never witnessed a more awesome coaster where the rider gets to sit on a motorcycle and fly through the air! The sign said it would be a 70 minute wait, but after getting on line we could see that we were moving at a fast pace to the front!

The Tron ride had to be one of the biggest highlights of the trip. For once I wasn’t scared whatsoever, and this ride does not disappoint. From the launch sequence all the way to the ending, we found ourselves laughing out loud with excitement! The second the ride ended, I knew that we would be back on that coaster by the end of the day. Awesome Awesome Awesome!

The rest of the day consisted of us visiting our favorite burger spot in Tomorrowland which has an Alien Robot playing songs and telling jokes. I’m not sure if you reading this have been there, but go visit “Sonny Eclipse” at “Cosmic Rays” for the best Bacon Cheeseburger on earth (Or space, 🙂 ).

The other amazing timing we had when in Magic Kingdom was when the day was mostly over and the lines quickly lessened. It was the 3rd and then 4th time we went on Space Mountain that we realized that most families have left the park for the day. The only exception was the line for Tron which actually remained 60-70 minutes for the entirety of the day. The other amazing experience on a ride came in the form of a log flume.

Walking through the frontier section of the park, my stepson found the replacement for Splash Mountain. The name of the ride is ‘Tianas Bayou Adventure’. Unlike the log rides of yesteryear, this ride was very long with scene after scene showing an appreciation for New Orleans. Unlike other log flumes this ride had 3-4 separate ‘drops’ in it keeping the rider constantly excited. This log flume was so much fun that we decided that before we call it a day in the Magic Kingdom it’s worth getting wet one last time.

Overall we had what seemed to be a very long trip full of fun and adventure. There is a lot to be said for the high price of Disney, but since we di our homework ahead of time, and my career gets me half off, the trip is 100% worth it! Even at full price, there is nothing that can compare to the laughter and excitement of going to 5 different theme parks in 5 days. The epic rides we experienced, the epic food we experienced, and the fun quality time together made for this chapter of “travel after divorce” worth every cent.

Like I always mention, the destinations that my soon to be wife and I experience have zero to do with what it means to enjoy our new lives. Being together and starting another branch of our family is what lies ahead. Hint…. Viva Las Vegas!!